Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
