lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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