That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
