I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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