You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
