Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize