Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
