3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
