Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
