Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
