there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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