is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
