Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
