Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
