what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm at about main and main street
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
