just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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