Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am spending my child support on dildos
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
