oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
