we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
