no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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