Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
