Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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