We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
