she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I need to stop coming to work sober
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
