we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
