did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
