this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
