check it out our google latitudes are spooning
kristin has been a bad kristin
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
