It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
