with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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