Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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