I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
