Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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