can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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