i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize