Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dignity is for republicans.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
