I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This is not my ceiling
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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