i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
