fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
