1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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