He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
