that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
