just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
