I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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