Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
