i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
how does that bad decision feel?
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