Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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