Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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