How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
a search helicopter?!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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