Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
