Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
