well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
