I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
