Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
