you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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