I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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