Screwed.edu
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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