He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize