No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
