I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
