i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Randomize
