the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
