Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
