I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
