tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
