They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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