She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
