ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
