It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
